Need help proofreading!?

I have a scholarship essay due in 2 hours and need help with final proofreading. The prompt is "What does your chicano/latino experiences mean to you and how can achieving you educational goals help you contribute to the latino community?" I only need editing for the SECOND PART but i will post both parts to see if i am answering the prompt well. here it is:





PART 1


My Chicano experience has been a source of joy and direction, but also a real struggle: I’ve tried to forge my own identity from Mexican and mainstream U.S.A. cultures, and have confronted problems and obstacles along the way. These days, I’ve somehow learned to bridge the two cultures, which has helped me define who I am as a person. This process has also influenced my decisions to pursue a higher education and give back to the Latino Community.


Being the only U.S. born person in my family has been difficult for me, since no one was equipped to guide me through the U.S. practices and values that I would encounter in daily life here. I was awkward with the culture around me because it differed from the culture I practice domestically. As I grew older, I began to move further away from the culture my family had taught me. As I exhibited more “gringo- like,” behavior, my family became unhappy with my choices. I was reprimanded and ridiculed for everything from the lack of salsa on my tacos to linguistic mistakes in my Spanish. I began to feel confused as to why I was deemed as a cultural traitor for letting go of my culture to adapt to the much more prevalent culture outside of my home. My predicament was similar to the one Rodolfo Gonzales depicts in his poem, “Yo Soy Joaquin,” where the narrator has an internal battle between conforming to mainstream American culture, and attaining a “full stomach,” or staying “hungry” by keeping his Chicano soul.


During my sophomore year in high school I began to look for answers to why my experience as a Chicano had been so frustrating. I realized that I could not properly fit under any ethnic or cultural label and I didn’t have to. No label will ever able to fully “explain” me or my experiences. My goal is to promote this philosophy amongst the Latino community, particularly youth; I have already begun. During the fall I worked for a non-profit organization, Bay Area Community Resources, as an after school youth leader overseeing 15-20 ESL students at Global Families Elementary in Oakland. In my current position as an academic tutor at Fremont High School in Oakland, I work with a diverse student body, 40% of whom are Latino. These types of positions are fulfilling to me, and I’m planning to continue working with youth.





PART 2


I'm currently working towards receiving my Associate of Arts degree in Sociology at Chabot College. After completing the requirements for this degree I plan on transferring to San Francisco State University and pursing a Bachelors Degree in Sociology. My main goal is receive a Ph D. in Child Psychology and work as a youth counselor. By achieving my educational goals I want to become a new paradigm of success for the Latino community, and hope that with my achievements I could inspire youth to do the same. I will effectively assist Latino youth by guiding them through the same struggles I had to deal with, such as the cultural clash that often occurs when an adolescent spends the majority of their life in a region foreign to their parents and has to learn to satisfy both cultures simultaneously. I’m baffled by the decline of academic performance and drop out rates amongst Latino youth. Often when immigrant families arrive in the U.S.A. the most accessible jobs are those that are physically laborious. The mental burden of these jobs undermines a parent’s ability to provide emotional and academic support for their children. I want to help Latino youth with their education goals and facilitate their transition by helping them adjust to the cultural differences they will experience.


I’m confident I can impact the Latino community by providing Latino youth with the tools they will need to prevail. I have learned to triumph over the obstacles that come with being a Chicano and will teach Latino youth to do the same by applying my experiences as a Chicano and utilizing my education to help Latino youth succeed.|||Jack,


This essay is awesome! I am so proud of you, and I don't even know you! :-) I've made just a few suggestions, which you can take or not. It really is well written and nearly perfect in grammar %26amp; usage. Wow!





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it differed from the culture I practiced domestically.





I do not properly fit under any ethnic or cultural label and, more importantly, I don't have to.





pursing a Bachelor's Degree in Sociology. My main goal is to receive





I want to become a new paradigm of success for the Latino community, and plan to use my achievements to inspire youth to do the same. [I changed "hope" to "plan" because it sounds more decisive.]





same struggles with which I had to deal, [or you can change this to "same struggles that I had to overcome..."]





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Best to you.|||wow nobodys gonna read that did u rilly think we would?