Hey everyone thanks so much for reading this! Ok, I know this is probably the longest thing written on YA, but at least *try* to make it to the end! I just feel lost right now.
To start, I'm 18 (gay). Right now I'm a freshman college student (halfway through my second semester). I've never had a job (but have always done well in school). I live in the most bible-thumping region of South Carolina, and I just feel extremely alone.
I told my best friend I was gay 6 months ago, and she was my biggest supporter at first. Two weeks ago she told me in an 8 page text that she still had a problem with my being gay, and that she didn鈥檛 agree it. I was more crushed that I鈥檝e ever been in my life. She told me she still wanted to be friends, but I knew that I couldn鈥檛 look at her as a friend again. I鈥檝e been distancing myself from her sense then, and I hope she will eventually get the hint. I can鈥檛 just *tell* her that I can鈥檛 be around her anymore, we were best friends for 5 years.
I feel like I need to get out of this place, and move somewhere a little more "gay friendly". Maybe then I can gather my thoughts, some supporting friends, and maybe a relationship. This could give me the courage to tell my family.
Right now I鈥檓 attending a two year college in South Carolina, and the previous plan was for me to transfer to a nearby university for the last two years. Now I鈥檝e decided to transfer to a college in Georgia (near Atlanta). Does this sound like something someone in my position would do? I would have to get a job in Atlanta to be able to do this, and a roommate. My family is totally on board with this (although they still don鈥檛 know I鈥檓 gay).
I know I鈥檒l be so much happier once I can be myself. Instead of trying to figure out about which people will accept me, I鈥檒l finally be able to assume that most people around me do.
The only problem is that right now, I鈥檓 terrified! I鈥檝e spent so much time daydreaming about how amazing it would be to go to a more tolerant place that I completely forgot that it would mean leaving everything I currently know.
I don鈥檛 know where to meet people in Atlanta (as it stands now, I make new friends through my current friends) and I鈥檝e never been on my own before!
So I guess my questions are: How do I make gay-friendly and gay friends in Atlanta? How could I make sure that my new roommate is either a woman or another gay guy? What should my overall firsts step in making sure I have a smooth transition into a big city?
I can't thank you enough for actually reading all of this, and thanks again for anyone who replies! This is such a terrifying exciting time in my life, but I know it will all end in the best way possible :) Thanks everyone!|||Believe me, I've actually seen texts on here that were even LONGER.
And reading yours was not a problem for me, because you actually use paragraphs and proper grammar, as opposed to certain other people who have the most inexplicable love for huge, insurmountable walls of text that almost make my poor eyes bleed. :-S
I wish you the very best of luck with everything. And I do have a few comments. The first issue I want to address has to do with that former best friend of yours. I understand that her not accepting your homosexuality must really, really hurt a lot. But she still likes you anyway, and she still wants to be your friend, right..? Maybe, IF you are able to, you should try to keep her as a friend because of that. She might be homophobic due to her upbringing, religious beliefs, general societal norms, or a number of other factors. But it is probably deeply ingrained in her, no matter WHAT caused it, and long-standing attitudes like that can be VERY hard to shake. It usually isn't done overnight.
Perhaps, if you keep being her friend, she will eventually learn that you are still you, and that being gay might not be such a horrible thing, after all. Or at the very least, you can agree to disagree and decide not to talk about it. I completely understand it if you find yourself unable to do that, and I wouldn't fault you for it. But IF you think you can, then maybe you should. Because YOU might benefit from keeping her as a friend too, right?
I also do think it is a good idea for you to move. As for the roommate thing: I think the only thing you need to make sure of is that you don't get a homophobic roommate. Having a straight male roommate who is tolerant of homosexuality wouldn't be such a bad thing, right..? My ex-boyfriend, who is and always has been completely straight, shared a room with a gay guy once, and he had absolutely NO problem with it, because he's simply not an intolerant @sshole. :)
I think you should talk to the school administration, or whoever is in control of your housing arrangements, and let them know about it. Tell them to make sure you don't end up with a homophobe. Or, if you DO end up with one, let them know that it isn't working out, and I'm sure one of you can eventually be moved elsewhere. :)篓篓
As for meeting gay-friendly people, that should be easy. There are plenty of those, just about everywhere, I would think. You'll just need to talk to people and figure out whether or not they are fine with it. Although try to let them get to know you as YOU first, gay second. Being gay is just ONE of those many parts that make you you, remember..? =)
If you want to meet other gay people, maybe there's some kind of GSA or group for queer students on campus. You might want to check that out. There are also gay bars, of course. And maybe organizations, if you're the political kind. Or if you're an introvert: try searching for gay guys in Atlanta online, perhaps. :)
I hope that was of some help.|||my advice is to please go somewhere else, there are enough homos in Atlanta already
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