I need to get out of here, I really need advice!?

Hey everyone, thanks so much for reading this! Ok, I know this is probably the longest thing written on YA, but at least *try* to make it to the end! I just feel very desperate right now.





To start, I'm 18 (gay). Right now I'm a freshman college student (halfway through my second semester). I've never had a job (but have always done well in school). I live in the most bible-thumping region of South Carolina, and I just feel extremely alone.





Let me explain further. I finally came out to myself around my 17th birthday (though I still had a hard time accepting it). I told my best friend about 6 months later. She didn't agree with it, and was very vocal about it at first. She eventually accepted it and she grew to be a big supporter for me (at least that's what I thought).





Even after I had told her that I was gay, I still had a very hard time dealing with all the feelings that came with it. I still felt fairly alone, especially with living in the bible belt. I didn't feel comfortable enough to tell anyone else, but I felt that as long as I had my friend to lean on then I would eventually gain the strength to come out.





I eventually realized that she was using me as a crutch *more* then I was using her as one (for her own insecurities). For 5 years, we did EVERYTHING together, and me telling her I was gay made me even more dependent on her. In my perspective, it was an extremely unhealthy relationship. I felt like I wanted to get out, but I didn't what I would be able to do without her (or how I could even crush her by saying that).





A week ago, she told me in a 8 page text that she "had something to tell me in the summer, when it would be less stress on us both". She put little things in there like "you're my best friend and I can't imagine my life without you" and "you've been the only constant in my life, so I don't want you to be angry". I knew what was coming, so I just went ahead and said "it's because I'm gay isn't it? You still have a problem with it?". She confirmed it.





I went to my room and cried like it was the first time I had ever felt sadness. Suicide even passed through my mind a few times. I wanted to stop, but I knew that I had to let everything out. My mom came into my room (to ask me something I guess) and saw that I was crying, so she started to. She kept asking me what was wrong, but I never told her. I just said that "I'm alright, it's just wavering of emotions, it's such a stupid thing to cry about". She stayed in there while she hugged me and tried to cheer me up.





I feel like this is the perfect time to stop this relationship with my friend. I just don't know how to do it (I don't want to just come out and tell her).





I also feel like I need to get out of this place, and move somewhere a little more "gay friendly" for a while. Maybe then I can gather my thoughts, some supporting friends, and maybe a relationship. This could give me the courage to tell my family. I just don't know *how* to actually do this.





Right now Im attending a Technical college in South Carolina, and the plan is for me to transfer to Clemson University in South Carolina. Maybe, instead, I can transfer to a college in Georgia (near Atlanta)? Does this sound like something someone in my position would do? I would have to get a job in Atlanta to be able to do this, and a roommate. Is there anyway to make sure that my roommate could be a girl, or another gay guy?





So basically my questions are: How do you think I should dismiss my friend, what do you think about my moving plan (any suggestions would be *AMAZING* on that), and how would I get to meet new gay friendly people if I *did* move?





I can't thank you enough for actually reading all of this, and thanks again for anyone who replies! This just feels like the worst time of my life, but I do know that things will always get better :) Thanks everyone!|||i read EVERYTHING and i'm bi i have a girlfriend. my parents don't know because i tried telling them and they said it was wrong and so on and so on. so its just only she and my friends know


and truthfully if your friend doesn't like accept the fact that your gay that person's not a good friend. i mean she should understand that people are different and we all come from the same place we aren't just the same and about moving. maybe you should maybe u should meet new people have fun with the people who accepts u and if were u are don't accept u then just leave and start over.|||If you don't like where you are living then you should move somewhere more gay friendly, i also live in a rural bible thumping area and i intend to get out of here as soon as i can. I think you should transfer to a college in Atlanta, i heard Atlanta is gay friendly. You should ask the college that you want to go to how they pick roommates to see how they do it. You've got a great plan. You should check and see if the college you want to go to has a gay-straight alliance, you should meet some gay friendly people there.