Will you please edit my editorial?

will you please edit this, just a reminder that to-be verbs are very bad! (PS please try to guess what grade i'm in!)








Because of his 5 years of violence in Darfur, along with crimes against humanity and war, including murder, extermination, forcible transfer, torture, directing attacks against civilians and pillaging; the Sudanese president, Omar Hassan al-Bashir, faces an arrest warrant from the International Court. Although the list of crimes that the Sudanese President has committed is already shocking, the members of the ICC left out one very important offense; genocide. However, such crimes certainly taint Hassan al-Bashir’s record, but the lasting affect that such abominations left on the societies he attacked is far worse, and shows nothing other than corruption. By committing such crimes, Hassan al-Bashir extinguished many native tribes and negatively impacted the natives of Darfur forever.





Omar Hassan al-Bashir portrayed a perfect example of genocide; to have a clear intent to destroy, in part or as a whole, a targeted group. During five years of violence in Darfur, the Sudanese President not only committed several war offenses, he knowingly attacked certain tribes. Luis Moreno-Ocampo filed genocide charges against the Sudanese president in July of 2008. In his accusation, Moreno-Ocampo claimed that Omar Hassan al-Bashir “masterminded attempts to wipe-out African tribes in the [already] war-torn region.” Although the ICC claims that they have no evidence with which to convict Omar Hassan al-Bashir with genocide, justice will show through.





Unfortunately, Omar Hassan al-Bashir’s repercussions did not end with those he murdered, exterminated, forcibly transferred, tortured, pillaged, and otherwise attacked, the imprint of his actions will live on. With such violent and impacting wrongdoings, the future generations of those attacked by Hassan al-Bashir and his armies will definitely remain scarred. When even just one person of a community is threatened, the entire community suffers. The survivors of such vicious assault will live in a blemished existence, reliving their horrors. Because of their hurt parents, the future generations will suffer. Unknowingly, Omar Hassan al-Bashir tipped over the first domino of many, and they will continue to fall until one person goes against the grain, determined to set things right.|||wow, you wrote this article?





really?





hmmm...interesting.